For a driven woman, patriarchy is extremely disheartening… and the most disheartening thing is that it is more often than not, women who push the narrative harder than the men themselves.
A woman’s achievements mean nothing to some people without a man validating you… Unless there is a man who has claimed you as his own, people see your hard work but are quick to remind you that you’re not married and therefore your work is not of any value. Or if you happen to be fortunate enough to have a man, you’re reminded that you’re fortunate to have a man who holds your hand as you garner your success. I mean after all, what’s a woman without a woman in her life
I’ll bring this all closer to home and share my own personal experience. For instance, I’m never mentioned when articles are written about my partner because it’s about him and his achievements BUT when it comes to media coverage on Mpho Maboi, his name will ALWAYS come up. WHY? I ask myself this all the damn time… Have I not worked hard enough to prove my worth? Did he not find me in this space already grafting and trying to make my mark for me to suddenly need to be associated to his name in order to be relevant? The sad bit is that 95% of articles written about me are by women…
I sit and wonder if we are honestly saying to the girl child that men validate us and that it’s an OK thing? Is this the message we are comfortable sending out to our daughters coz I DO NOT want my daughter comfortable with this.
I acknowledge the support men give us as women who would rather go out and work than use our looks to get by, which is a hustle i do not knock because we all have our strengths in life (but thats a topic for another day). All I’m saying is, lets not disrespect women and their hard working ethic simply to push a male agenda.
On a positive note… I’m kinda grateful to those media houses who’ve blatantly told me that without the mention of my man, I don’t have a story to tell coz you’ve made me work even harder. Thank you… 😏